diff --git a/src/API/Contracts/Builds/Responses/LatestBuildsResponse.cs b/src/API/Contracts/Builds/Responses/LatestBuildsResponse.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..22af00e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/API/Contracts/Builds/Responses/LatestBuildsResponse.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+namespace API.Contracts.Builds.Responses;
+
+public class LatestBuildsResponse
+{
+    public string LatestWindowsVersion { get; set; } = "TBF";
+    public string LatestLinuxVersion { get; set; } = "TBF";
+    public string LatestMetaVersion { get; set; } = "TBF";
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/API/Contracts/Config/Responses/MediaPlayerConfigResponse.cs b/src/API/Contracts/Config/Responses/MediaPlayerConfigResponse.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..184b654
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/API/Contracts/Config/Responses/MediaPlayerConfigResponse.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+using System.Text.Json.Serialization;
+
+namespace API.Contracts.Config.Responses;
+
+public class MediaPlayerConfigResponse
+{
+    [JsonPropertyName("Enabled")]
+    public bool Enabled { get; set; }
+
+    [JsonPropertyName("Uri")]
+    public Uri? Uri { get; set; }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/API/Controllers/Builds/BuildsController.cs b/src/API/Controllers/Builds/BuildsController.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b213574
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/API/Controllers/Builds/BuildsController.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+using API.Contracts.Builds.Responses;
+using Microsoft.AspNetCore.Mvc;
+using RecNet.Application.Common.Interfaces;
+using RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
+
+namespace API.Controllers.Builds;
+
+[ApiController]
+[Route("api/[controller]/v1")]
+public class BuildsController(IPatchNoteRepository patchNoteRepository, IConfigService configService) : ControllerBase
+{
+    [HttpGet("latest")]
+    public async Task<ActionResult<LatestBuildsResponse>> GetLatestVersions(CancellationToken ct = default)
+    {
+        // If I didn't have a one-day deadline, I wouldn't be storing this as a server config.
+        // But I am, so this will have to do.
+        var latestBuilds = await configService.GetAsync(
+            "Builds:Latest",
+            new LatestBuildsResponse(),
+            ct);
+
+        return Ok(latestBuilds);
+    }
+    
+    // rejecting DDD because I'm lazy :P
+    [HttpGet("patchNotes")]
+    public async Task<IReadOnlyList<PatchNote>> GetPatchNotes(CancellationToken ct = default)
+        => await patchNoteRepository.GetAllAsync(ct);
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/API/Controllers/Config/V1/ConfigController.cs b/src/API/Controllers/Config/V1/ConfigController.cs
index 3093725..5c0da13 100644
--- a/src/API/Controllers/Config/V1/ConfigController.cs
+++ b/src/API/Controllers/Config/V1/ConfigController.cs
@@ -1,17 +1,34 @@
+using API.Contracts.Config.Responses;
+using Microsoft.AspNetCore.Authorization;
 using Microsoft.AspNetCore.Mvc;
 using RecNet.Application.Common.Interfaces;
 
 namespace API.Controllers.Config.V1;
 
-[Route("api/[controller]/v1")]
+[Authorize]
 [ApiController]
+[Route("api/[controller]/v1")]
 public class ConfigController(IConfigService configService) : ControllerBase
 {
     [HttpGet("motd")]
     public async Task<ActionResult<string>> GetMotd(CancellationToken ct = default)
     {
-        var motd = await configService.GetAsync("Config:MOTD", "Ten Whole Years!", ct);
+        var motd = await configService.GetAsync(
+            "Config:MOTD",
+            "Ten Whole Years!",
+            ct);
 
         return Ok(motd);
     }
-}
+
+    [HttpGet("media-player")]
+    public async Task<ActionResult<MediaPlayerConfigResponse>> GetMediaPlayerConfig(CancellationToken ct = default)
+    {
+        var motd = await configService.GetAsync(
+            "Config:MediaPlayerConfig",
+            new MediaPlayerConfigResponse(),
+            ct);
+
+        return Ok(motd);
+    }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/API/Controllers/Settings/V1/SettingsController.cs b/src/API/Controllers/Settings/V1/SettingsController.cs
index e8d46ca..87f6b69 100644
--- a/src/API/Controllers/Settings/V1/SettingsController.cs
+++ b/src/API/Controllers/Settings/V1/SettingsController.cs
@@ -26,6 +26,7 @@ public class SettingsController(IProfileService profileService) : ControllerBase
     {
         var profileId = User.GetProfileId();
 
+        // It's like having CQRS at home!
         var updated = await profileService.UpdatePlayerSettingAsync
         (
             profileId: profileId,
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/IPatchNoteRepository.cs b/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/IPatchNoteRepository.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e66aea9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/IPatchNoteRepository.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+namespace RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
+
+public interface IPatchNoteRepository
+{
+    // We are really only resolving them, not modifying them. (use the database like a caveman)
+    Task<IReadOnlyList<PatchNote>> GetAllAsync(CancellationToken ct = default);
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/PatchNote.cs b/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/PatchNote.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9c98f2f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Domain/PatchNotes/PatchNote.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+using System.Globalization;
+
+namespace RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
+
+public class PatchNote
+{
+    public string Version { get; private set; } = null!;
+    public string Date { get; private set; } = null!;
+    public List<string> Changes { get; private set; } = [];
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/DependencyInjection.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/DependencyInjection.cs
index 4c0a987..ecdcc59 100644
--- a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/DependencyInjection.cs
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/DependencyInjection.cs
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ using Microsoft.Extensions.Hosting;
 using RecNet.Application.Common.Interfaces;
 using RecNet.Domain.Configuration;
 using RecNet.Domain.GameVersions;
+using RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
 using RecNet.Domain.Profiles;
 using RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence;
 using RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Repositories;
@@ -41,6 +42,7 @@ public static class DependencyInjection
         builder.Services.AddScoped<IGameVersionRepository, GameVersionRepository>();
         builder.Services.AddScoped<IProfileRepository, ProfileRepository>();
         builder.Services.AddScoped<IRelationshipRepository, RelationshipRepository>();
+        builder.Services.AddScoped<IPatchNoteRepository, PatchNoteRepository>();
         builder.Services.AddScoped<IServerConfigRepository, ServerConfigRepository>();
         
         builder.Services.AddScoped<IConfigService, ConfigService>();
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Configurations/PatchNoteConfiguration.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Configurations/PatchNoteConfiguration.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..84e2d54
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Configurations/PatchNoteConfiguration.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Metadata.Builders;
+using RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
+
+namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Configurations;
+
+public class PatchNoteConfiguration : IEntityTypeConfiguration<PatchNote>
+{
+    public void Configure(EntityTypeBuilder<PatchNote> builder)
+    {
+        builder.HasKey(x => x.Version);
+
+        builder.Property(x => x.Version)
+            .HasMaxLength(32)
+            .IsRequired();
+        
+        builder.Property(x => x.Date)
+            .HasMaxLength(10)
+            .IsRequired();
+    }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/DatabaseContext.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/DatabaseContext.cs
index 7346d90..df2f84f 100644
--- a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/DatabaseContext.cs
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/DatabaseContext.cs
@@ -1,15 +1,22 @@
 using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore;
 using RecNet.Domain.Configuration;
 using RecNet.Domain.GameVersions;
+using RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
 using RecNet.Domain.Profiles;
 
 namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence;
 
 public class DatabaseContext(DbContextOptions<DatabaseContext> options) : DbContext(options)
 {
+    // Profiles
     public DbSet<Profile> Profiles => Set<Profile>();
     public DbSet<PlayerSetting> PlayerSettings => Set<PlayerSetting>();
     public DbSet<Relationship> Relationships => Set<Relationship>();
+    
+    // PatchNotes
+    public DbSet<PatchNote> PatchNotes => Set<PatchNote>();
+    
+    // Internal
     public DbSet<GameVersion> GameVersions => Set<GameVersion>();
     public DbSet<ServerConfig> ServerConfigs => Set<ServerConfig>();
 
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.Designer.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.Designer.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..edf66fd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.Designer.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,230 @@
+// <auto-generated />
+using System;
+using System.Collections.Generic;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Infrastructure;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Migrations;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Storage.ValueConversion;
+using Npgsql.EntityFrameworkCore.PostgreSQL.Metadata;
+using RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence;
+
+#nullable disable
+
+namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Migrations
+{
+    [DbContext(typeof(DatabaseContext))]
+    [Migration("20260627051001_PatchNotes")]
+    partial class PatchNotes
+    {
+        /// <inheritdoc />
+        protected override void BuildTargetModel(ModelBuilder modelBuilder)
+        {
+#pragma warning disable 612, 618
+            modelBuilder
+                .HasAnnotation("ProductVersion", "10.0.8")
+                .HasAnnotation("Relational:MaxIdentifierLength", 63);
+
+            NpgsqlModelBuilderExtensions.UseIdentityByDefaultColumns(modelBuilder);
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Configuration.ServerConfig", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<string>("Key")
+                        .HasMaxLength(128)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(128)");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Value")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("jsonb");
+
+                    b.HasKey("Key");
+
+                    b.ToTable("ServerConfigs");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.GameVersions.GameVersion", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<string>("Version")
+                        .HasMaxLength(32)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(32)");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("IsValid")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.HasKey("Version");
+
+                    b.ToTable("GameVersions");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes.PatchNote", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<string>("Version")
+                        .HasMaxLength(32)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(32)");
+
+                    b.PrimitiveCollection<List<string>>("Changes")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("text[]");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Date")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasMaxLength(10)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(10)");
+
+                    b.HasKey("Version");
+
+                    b.ToTable("PatchNotes");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.PlayerSetting", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<Guid>("UserId")
+                        .HasColumnType("uuid");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Key")
+                        .HasMaxLength(100)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(100)");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Value")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("text");
+
+                    b.HasKey("UserId", "Key");
+
+                    b.ToTable("PlayerSettings");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<Guid>("ProfileId")
+                        .ValueGeneratedOnAdd()
+                        .HasColumnType("uuid");
+
+                    b.Property<DateTimeOffset>("CreatedAt")
+                        .HasColumnType("timestamp with time zone");
+
+                    b.PrimitiveCollection<string>("DeviceIds")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("jsonb");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("IsBanned")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("IsDeveloper")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("IsModerator")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.Property<byte[]>("MetaAuthenticationSecret")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("bytea");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Name")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasMaxLength(32)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(32)");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Platform")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasMaxLength(50)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(50)");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("PlatformId")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasMaxLength(50)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(50)");
+
+                    b.HasKey("ProfileId");
+
+                    b.HasIndex("Platform", "PlatformId")
+                        .IsUnique();
+
+                    b.ToTable("Profiles");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Relationship", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<Guid>("OwnerProfileId")
+                        .HasColumnType("uuid");
+
+                    b.Property<Guid>("ProfileId")
+                        .HasColumnType("uuid");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("Ignored")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.Property<bool>("Muted")
+                        .HasColumnType("boolean");
+
+                    b.HasKey("OwnerProfileId", "ProfileId");
+
+                    b.HasIndex("ProfileId");
+
+                    b.ToTable("Relationships");
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.PlayerSetting", b =>
+                {
+                    b.HasOne("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", null)
+                        .WithMany("Settings")
+                        .HasForeignKey("UserId")
+                        .OnDelete(DeleteBehavior.Cascade)
+                        .IsRequired();
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", b =>
+                {
+                    b.OwnsOne("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Avatar", "Avatar", b1 =>
+                        {
+                            b1.Property<Guid>("ProfileId")
+                                .HasColumnType("uuid");
+
+                            b1.Property<string>("HairColor")
+                                .IsRequired()
+                                .HasColumnType("text");
+
+                            b1.Property<string>("OutfitSelections")
+                                .IsRequired()
+                                .HasColumnType("text");
+
+                            b1.Property<string>("SkinColor")
+                                .IsRequired()
+                                .HasColumnType("text");
+
+                            b1.HasKey("ProfileId");
+
+                            b1.ToTable("Profiles");
+
+                            b1.WithOwner()
+                                .HasForeignKey("ProfileId");
+                        });
+
+                    b.Navigation("Avatar")
+                        .IsRequired();
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Relationship", b =>
+                {
+                    b.HasOne("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", null)
+                        .WithMany("Relationships")
+                        .HasForeignKey("OwnerProfileId")
+                        .OnDelete(DeleteBehavior.Cascade)
+                        .IsRequired();
+
+                    b.HasOne("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", null)
+                        .WithMany()
+                        .HasForeignKey("ProfileId")
+                        .OnDelete(DeleteBehavior.Cascade)
+                        .IsRequired();
+                });
+
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.Profile", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Navigation("Relationships");
+
+                    b.Navigation("Settings");
+                });
+#pragma warning restore 612, 618
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6e8feb7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/20260627051001_PatchNotes.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+using System.Collections.Generic;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Migrations;
+
+#nullable disable
+
+namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Migrations
+{
+    /// <inheritdoc />
+    public partial class PatchNotes : Migration
+    {
+        /// <inheritdoc />
+        protected override void Up(MigrationBuilder migrationBuilder)
+        {
+            migrationBuilder.CreateTable(
+                name: "PatchNotes",
+                columns: table => new
+                {
+                    Version = table.Column<string>(type: "character varying(32)", maxLength: 32, nullable: false),
+                    Date = table.Column<string>(type: "character varying(10)", maxLength: 10, nullable: false),
+                    Changes = table.Column<List<string>>(type: "text[]", nullable: false)
+                },
+                constraints: table =>
+                {
+                    table.PrimaryKey("PK_PatchNotes", x => x.Version);
+                });
+        }
+
+        /// <inheritdoc />
+        protected override void Down(MigrationBuilder migrationBuilder)
+        {
+            migrationBuilder.DropTable(
+                name: "PatchNotes");
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/DatabaseContextModelSnapshot.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/DatabaseContextModelSnapshot.cs
index 6c4e558..cad1027 100644
--- a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/DatabaseContextModelSnapshot.cs
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Migrations/DatabaseContextModelSnapshot.cs
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 // <auto-generated />
 using System;
+using System.Collections.Generic;
 using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore;
 using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Infrastructure;
 using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore.Storage.ValueConversion;
@@ -51,6 +52,26 @@ namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Migrations
                     b.ToTable("GameVersions");
                 });
 
+            modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes.PatchNote", b =>
+                {
+                    b.Property<string>("Version")
+                        .HasMaxLength(32)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(32)");
+
+                    b.PrimitiveCollection<List<string>>("Changes")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasColumnType("text[]");
+
+                    b.Property<string>("Date")
+                        .IsRequired()
+                        .HasMaxLength(10)
+                        .HasColumnType("character varying(10)");
+
+                    b.HasKey("Version");
+
+                    b.ToTable("PatchNotes");
+                });
+
             modelBuilder.Entity("RecNet.Domain.Profiles.PlayerSetting", b =>
                 {
                     b.Property<Guid>("UserId")
diff --git a/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Repositories/PatchNoteRepository.cs b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Repositories/PatchNoteRepository.cs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4272a67
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/RecNet.Infrastructure/Persistence/Repositories/PatchNoteRepository.cs
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+using System.Globalization;
+using Microsoft.EntityFrameworkCore;
+using RecNet.Domain.PatchNotes;
+
+namespace RecNet.Infrastructure.Persistence.Repositories;
+
+public class PatchNoteRepository(DatabaseContext dbContext) : IPatchNoteRepository
+{
+    public async Task<IReadOnlyList<PatchNote>> GetAllAsync(CancellationToken ct = default)
+    {
+        var patchNotes = await dbContext.PatchNotes
+            .AsNoTracking()
+            .ToListAsync(ct);
+
+        // Please, do NOT do this. You should be storing this value as a DateTimeOffset and then converting it into a DTO.
+        return patchNotes
+            .OrderByDescending(e =>
+                DateTime.ParseExact(
+                    e.Date,
+                    "M/dd/yyyy",
+                    CultureInfo.InvariantCulture))
+            .ToList();
+    }
+}
\ No newline at end of file